Marsha and humble September 30, 2007




Thank you for visiting Maine Private Radio.
Below is a rough outline of the rants from The humble Farmer radio show week of June 30, 2013. The week of April 7 marked 35 years or 1820 radio shows I've made just for you. Can you send me just one penny for each one of them? Thank you for supporting your Maine Private Radio.


Perhaps it would be more fun for both of us if you'd make your contribution by spending a night here in The humble Farmer Bed & Breakfast. Surprise your significant other with a visit to humble's B&B. Check it out on our B&B web page.




Thank you for stopping by.

+

The week of April 7 marked 35 years that humble has made this radio program for you. --- Around 1820 shows. He was a kid of 42 when he started driving to Orono every week to make this program.

+

Rough draft of Rants for your Maine Private Radio show for June 30, 2013

+

1. We read that some company is buying into the slot machine business in Maine for $1.5 billion. Anyone who is willing to pay $1.5 billion for a gambling business must suspect that Maine is home to more than an average number of suckers.

+

2. Here’s a little skit I wrote for the grandchildren to do for my television program. If you’ll try to pretend that I’m two girls aged 8 and ten we will proceed: Madeline: “Would you like to hear this story I just wrote?” Sydney: “Yes, Please read it to me.” Madeline: “Once upon a time…” Sydney: “I’ve already heard that one.” Madeline: “Once upon a time Tarzan and his faithful monkey, Cheetah, found a poor sick lion in the jungle. I am sick, the lion said. Unless I have a heart transplant, I will surely die. “Let me see what I can do,” said Tarzan and went forth. But Cheetah slipped on a banana peel and went fifth. They had not walked far before they came to a big old turtle who was crying by the side of a pond. Why do you cry?, Tarzan asked. Wait. I recognize you. You are Richard the turtle. I got Salmonella when I rode on your back when I was a child. I was even old back then, said Richard the turtle, and I’m afraid that today is my last day on this earth. No heroic measures, please, said the old turtle as he handed Tarzan his living will. Well, to make a long story short, things worked out because Tarzan was able to transplant the old turtle’s heart into the sick lion. The lion was soon well and back on his feet and from that day forth he was known to all of the animals in the jungle as Lion, The Richard Hearted.

+

3. While I’m thinking about it I want to tell you about another skit I want the grandchildren to do before my TV cameras the next time they visit. I’m going to take 10 or 12 tomato soup cans and wire them together. I’m going to paint a face on one end and pound the last can together so it looks like a long tin worm. I’m going to have the 8-year-old kid starting to cut it apart with some tin snips. Got the picture in your mind? And the 10 year old walks into the picture and says, “I wouldn’t open that worm of cans if I were you.”

+

4. We are saddened to hear that a police chief in Maine accidently shot himself in the hand and we wish him the best for a quick recovery. A while back there was some talk about giving each classroom teacher a gun in case they needed to protect the children. While the chief’s hand is healing do you suppose he might be available to instruct some Maine classroom teachers on how to handle a weapon?

+

5. You might have read that "Moderate Republicans backed away from Gov. Paul LePage this week" What is a moderate Republican nowadays? The current President of this United States is a moderate Republican. Ask anyone in Europe. Don't believe me. Google and you'll see that polls in those European countries where poverty is unknown placed Obama right of center. Given a choice between Nixon or Eisenhower or Obama I would have to vote for the first two, because Obama is more of a Republican than Nixon or Eisenhower ever thought of being. By today's standards Eisenhower and Nixon might be a little too far to the left to please the Democrats of 2013. Indeed, if General Eisenhower were alive today he might be alarmed to find himself living under a system that is rapidly approaching the one that he and millions of his troops thought they had defeated. Our corporate controlled media has moved us to the right so rapidly that political terms have to be constantly redefined.

+

6. May I paraphrase a letter to the editor of a Maine newspaper. "I would pull my child from an event before I would allow [our governor] any kind of access to them." Is this not an unkind and completely uncalled for remark? Our governor is doing no more than what the people who elected him want him to do. He is running the state like a business. The purpose of a business is to make money for the people who run it. Any thinking person would have to put him right up there with George W. Bush when it comes to shifting millions of your tax dollars into the pockets of his rich friends. And our governor is just getting started. It has not escaped your attention that in every country in the world there are two social entities that constantly struggle for power. The first is the people who own the factories/corporations. The second is the people who work for/in those corporations/factories. The two groups usually form political parties. Each political party works to enhance the economic standing of its own members. You are also aware that you have a governor who was elected by people who own the corporations/factories. Would he not be betraying the trust of the people who put him in office if he did not do everything in his power to give them every economic advantage over working people and small business owners? Because I do not have a second home in the Caribbean, I have always voted for the candidates who do what they can to make life easier for working people and small business owners. Do you support the candidates that will work for you, or do you make a habit of voting against your own economic interests?

+

7. And So To Bed” is one of many notable quotes ascribed to Samuel Pepys, 17th Century English naval administrator, member of parliament, noted historian, and diarist. Pepys’ diary entries provide us with a graphic account of every detail of his life in London and the news of the plagues and wars with the Dutch that were a blight on his world during those days. No matter what happened during a given day, they all ultimately ended the same way, and so to bed. It is interesting that back then kickbacks were accepted as the normal way to do business and nobody said anything about it. Today kickbacks are accepted as the normal way to do business and only the other party raises a fuss about it.

+

8. I have known two people who survived being struck by lightning. One was a man who mumbled, but still had his mental facilities intact. The second was a woman who spoke very well but had her brain --- I'll use the word scrambled because I don't know the scientific term. One day she would be your best friend. Another day she would refuse to speak to you. And now that I think of it, perhaps more of our neighbors have been struck by lightning than we realize.

+

9. If you’ve been reading the nederlandse krant over the past few months you have probably learned that the picturesque Dutch windmills are soon to be a thing of the past. According to Rutters, the Dutch news service, many young people find the ancient windmills to be unsightly eyesores that should be removed. “The windmills spoil our view,” Jeannette Boon said as she bent over to pluck a wilted tulip, “and every morning, when the sun comes up, that one,” and she pointed an accusing finger, “creates a shadow on my solar panels.” Tourists planning to visit Europe this summer will find most of the iconic windmills still in place. “They’ve served their purpose,” a young man said. “But come fall we’re cutting them up and burning them for firewood.” The famous Holland Windmill Delft Blue plates are slated to be replaced in 2014 by pictures of Canadian made solar panels.

+

10. The man in the TV ad said, “Having trouble collecting your veteran’s benefits? Call Morgan and Morgan. For the People.” Are you surprised that an ad like this is permitted to run? Does it smack of treason? Are you surprised that an ad like this is expected to generate a response? When you need to hire a lawyer to get what was promised you does it indicate that something in the system is not working the way it should? When military recruiters in their colorful creased uniforms visit high school and college campuses, should they be accompanied by a blind veteran, who lost his home to a bank, to present another side to the military career story? How many people now serving abroad in the military would have joined up had they known that Republicans were going to cut back on the benefits they were promised? Would you say that this is not morally right, although it is an excellent and all too common business practice? Too many questions? Are they answers in themselves?

+

11. Someone commented on the recent Lewiston brawl between 40 or 50 very poor people. You can't say that they are poor. Have you checked the price of tattoos and baseball bats lately?

+

I somehow lost my final edited version of these rants so this is not exactly what aired. But is it close.

+


Return to top.


Robert Karl Skoglund
785 River Road
St. George, ME 04860
(207) 226-7442
thehumblefarmer@gmail.com
www.TheHumbleFarmer.com

© 2013 Robert Karl Skoglund